i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
