We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I didn't notice because vodka
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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