Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
