WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
