So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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