So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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