My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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