I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
