i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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