Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
