I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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