Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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