I CAN MOONWALK!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think my mom watched the whole time
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
