Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
