Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
