I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
