You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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