i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
