What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize