So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
