I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
ok first of all what the fuck
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
