I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
