can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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