you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
