some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
