Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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