oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
