Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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