I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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