I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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