Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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