This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
