Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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