Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.

(310): View more from California

wait, who's paul?

(917): View more from New York City

exactly.

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(917): omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing. (310): wait, who's paul? (917): exactly. http://tfl.nu/h90s

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(404): View more from Georgia

You can't special order awesome

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(404): You can't special order awesome http://tfl.nu/116h

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

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(860): I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly http://tfl.nu/inbj

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(630): View more from Illinois

but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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(630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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(978): we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me http://tfl.nu/ax47

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(513): View more from Ohio

You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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(513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj

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(917): View more from New York City

so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style

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(917): so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style http://tfl.nu/9r5x

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(636): View more from Missouri

You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.

(847): View more from Illinois

What did I say?

(636): View more from Missouri

Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,

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(636): You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why. (847): What did I say? (636): Don't ask me questions while I have an erection, http://tfl.nu/e9w1

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(302): View more from Delaware

It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

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(302): It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex http://tfl.nu/xtt5

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.

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(919): It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed. http://tfl.nu/521h

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(830): View more from Texas

Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.

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(830): Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point. http://tfl.nu/e159

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.

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(601): He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT. http://tfl.nu/hra9

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(707): View more from California

As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.

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(707): As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment. http://tfl.nu/opoe

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(+61): View more from Australia

I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.

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(+61): I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins. http://tfl.nu/5c3n

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(740): View more from Ohio

so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.

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(740): so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore. http://tfl.nu/i2il

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