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omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You can't special order awesome
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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