btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My balls are so social today.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles