okay pat passed out under dana's car
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.