Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?