lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
