Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
