I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
