So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
