How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
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you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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