the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize