census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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