Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This baby is an asshole
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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