Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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