I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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