i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
