so explain again why im purple
no
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize