Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
