Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
