Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
