I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
