He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
