it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he thought i was a dude.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
