The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All I want is dick and wine.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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