I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
