i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
